i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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