Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
