Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
