Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
