I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
