apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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