You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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