wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
