If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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