so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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