i think i have herpe
just one?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
