Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
