at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
