Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
