Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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