My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
