remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dicks are not precious.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
