I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
