He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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