I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
