Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize