i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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