I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
