There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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