Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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