I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
