highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Someone came in the potted fern
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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