Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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