Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
