did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
