she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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