What a fucking waste of an outfit
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
