She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
