just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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