all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
