at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
