Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
