this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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