just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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