So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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