CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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