Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Can I color on your dick again?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
