I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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