Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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