You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
