I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
