You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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