i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish i was in the wii world.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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