i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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