Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
