Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
