tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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