would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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