So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
