at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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