Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
