you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
PANTIES FOUND
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