it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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