She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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