At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
