And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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