why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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