found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
