ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
